Walking in Dusseldorf

I enjoyed walking in Dusseldorf with you. I hope you can stay here and not go back and we can get a bigger apartment and we can all stay here together. I don't know why you think it is better to go back in the fall. I think that's stupid.

Taiwan Flights

I read in the news that Taiwan and China now have direct flights starting July 4th:

China-Taiwan Direct Flights.

I feel much better now that you and Isaac are here. In fact the sun is coming out by my office. Tonight we will come to the Dusseldorf city center and Altstadt, or "Old City", with narrow cobblestone streets.

Love,
Arley

Football Game

In Europe they call soccer "football", except in Germany it's "fußball", which you say "FOOS-ball". There is a championship match Thursday at 18:00 (6pm; they use military time in Germany, how appropriate) between Germany and Croatia. We can watch it together with Isaac if you're not too tired.

Love,
Arley

Trip

You are almost here and I have prayed for your safe journey. Please have a nice trip and relax.

Eager

I miss you today. I hope you are doing well. I miss you. Today I got a map of the rail and subway system. This will make it easier for us to get around. Please come quickly. I am eager for your arrival.

Love,
Arley

Airport

I checked the airport and its the one close by. It will be early in the morning. I'll take a cab up to see you.

I'm excited about seeing you and Isaac again. I hope you have fun here.

Love,
Arley

Transfer

Today I transfered the money for the apartment agent fee. It is surprisingly fast and easy to do things in a German bank. They seem to be more competent and efficient than the Americans.

Also you should have the wire for our invoice. I'd like us to open an account with Dan's sister for your investing. You can do what ever you want to for investing with it.

Today I got to see Rachel and Abigail on webcam. I sent them pictures of all the palaces we can visit close to Dusselsorf. One is even pink. I think you will like them.

I hope your dad is okay.

Love,
Arley

Books

Today I was at the bank to make the apartment deposit transfers. They had a used book sale there to benefit a childrens charity. There were lots of kids books at a low price so I purchased many. This way our kids will have something to read here that will also help their German.

Did you hear back on Isaac's passport yet? It is only a few days now. I am going to try taking the train near our hotel so I can figure out how it works.

Love,
Arley

Today I changed the bandages on my arm. Thanks to your care package I had lots of Neosporin.

I tried to email you to call me but I guess you were busy.

I am looking forward to you being here. I am especially looking forward to you taking ballet and pilates and being my skinny pretty trophy wife. Hopefully you can work at the university too.

Swimming

It was good to talk to you today. I am always happier when I hear the sound of your voice. There are many places we can go walking, shopping, swimming. Be sure to bring a swimming suit.

Hospital Day

Today I tried out the hospital system for you. I fell on my bike and got scrapes on my arm and a deep gash on my elbow, I had to get stitches. Fortunately I didn't hit my head, I was also wearing a helmet.

I did get to see more places around the city, and I rode by our hotel again. Every time I ride by the hotel I feel rejuvinated because it makes me feel closer to you. I am really looking forward to seeing my beautiful May again.

Love,
Arley

Going Places

When you get here there are places I want to take you. Parks, restaurants, castles. I want you to come here and not come back. I hope I can convince you to stay.

How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while. I guess you are busy with everyone finishing school.

Try to get lots of rest and eat well. I miss you.

Love,
Arley

Happier

Every day that passes I am a littler happier because I am closer to seeing you again. Please come soon my Babus. I do not know why, but it should be apparent that God is bringing us here for a reason. I just wish Rachel wanted to come too during the school year. Maybe once she comes she will change her mind.

Abigail

I miss all of you and want us to be together soon. Please tell Abigail we are going to find a place for her to stay with us so she can come soon. I think maybe the end of July and I can try to find another place to rent for July to September. Then we can rent a bigger place for everyone. I don't think they should stay away for a year.

Lease

Today I sent my signed lease contract to the landlord. Also I mailed my passport to Frankfurt for renewal. So l am all ready for you and Isaac to come. Also I've been looking at larger places to lease so we can all come together. Please hurry. Hope you had a good vacation day.

Love,
Arley

Splash Day

Today I rode by the Unterbacher See which is a lake that has a big playground and beach. I thought our kids could go there and have a splash day. There's also an indoor one for the winter that's closer to town we could go to.

I wish you could get a skype account with a webcam set up so we can talk to each other. Also once you come we can talk to our kids over it. I think they will miss you too much and we should plan to bring them soon, maybe August 1st. Here's a list of some larger apartments and houses for lease. We really need Valerie sold or leased soon so we can all be together.

Package

I received your package today! My best birthday present so far is my engraved ring. I'm wearing it right now. I also got the picture and the debit card. The greatest present, though, would be to have you here with me now. You were the only one that ever made me feel truly happy. Please hurry.

Love,
Arley

I sent you a picture of the ducklings. I saw lots of bunnies but they were too fast to take a photo!

Today I rode around our hotel to learn the neighborhood. It is very easy to walk to stores, restaurants, the train station. I found a park with a playground only a block away for Isaac.

I checked our package to the state department and UPS says it was delivered the 19th as promised. Please call them and show them the proof of delivery from the website.

I don't know what to say about your mom. But I do know that I will always be with you and never divorce you, no matter what. You are the only person that ever made me feel special and loved. No one else can compare with you.

Together

I am so happy when I think of you and I together again. I was so glad when I heard you say you had made the airplane and hotel resertvations. I went online and bought a bicycling rain jacket so I will be able to ride between work and our hotel even if it's raining.

Today I saw several ducklings and a mother duck. I will send you a picture. Think of this time as our special vacation reward. Like a honeymoon.

Love,
Arley

I miss you more every day. Please cone soon. I so want to be with you again. Only you could give me lasting happiness. I am getting everything prepared for you to come. Hurry.

Bicycle

I was riding my bicycle today and saw a rose that reminded me of you. It smells very nice. I was riding by fields that are full of flowers, they grow flowers to sell everywhere. I hope you can come soon, you are my rose, so beautiful and fragrant.

Neuss Hotel

Please come soon! I'm going to ride by the Neuss hotel today. I think you will like it as it is by some parks. I really look forward to us all being together.

Love,
Arley

A House

A house, a home. This is what I want to have with you. I want you to come soon so we can be together. We belong together. Come soon.

Each Day

Each day, you walk closer to me,
Every sunrise, your face is closer to mine;
Each chime of the watchtower, your hands reach for my own,
Every light of the stars, your eyes are unveiled.

Each child's laugh, your mirth rejoices,
Every playful skip, you dance a pliée;
Each city ride, your house is ahead,
Every country path, your fields drip with perfume.

Each morning's croissants, your breakfast with me,
Every evening kitchen, your dinner and mine;
Each embracing couple, your arms surround,
Every tearful goodbye, and I need you again.

Minlen May

Moonlight stillness
Open seascape
Brilliant expanse
Chirping birds
Yesterday's leaves
Watercolor petals
Flower-filled fields
Basking stars
Forested paths
Mountain backdrops
Harbor dim-sum
Snow-angel rest-stops
Ice-caked waterfalls
White-powder skis
Coat-warmed walks
Hanging Christmas-lights
Bush-sized dradels
Ocean-wave kisses
Volcano-red magma
Breakfast sushi
Guava-grove baskets
Sea-tossed cliffs
Jungle-hid tunnels
Thrice-kissed bedtimes
Soft-earth birth
Fogo de Chao
Gull-wing dates
Six-chaired tables
Fourfold hugging
Air-mattress escapes
Pear-tree ladders
Chapters unwritten

This
A lifetime
Of you and I
My one true love
My irreplaceable
Minlen May

Phone

Sorry my phone has run out of minutes. I will try to get it refilled Tuesday.
I found a place to stay but you said it was too expensive so now I have to start over. Now that the Internet is working I can write you a poem.

Love,
Arley

Again

Again I´m looking for an apartment, with no options on the table. Sometimes I think it would be easier to just buy a place. I still have many other things to do, like get my bank card, get my passport renewed, get an interview for residency. I am trying but not making much progress. I hope you can visit soon.

Love,
Arley

Homecoming

The bank account transfer and apartment rental should be completed soon. With these your visit is only days away. I will be so happy to see you again. It will be wonderful to have you next to me again. Today after seeing the apartment I am so much happier. I finally have something to look forward to.

Love,
Arley

Still Trying

Tomorrow I have an apartment showing. I will also try to schedule the showing for the residency interview. Once I get that it will be much easier to get things done. Soon we will all be together here, taking train trips to France, to the mountains of Switzerland, the tulips of Holland, a special time for you and me.

Thoughtless

Most of the time, I am thinking of nothing. I am only trying to exist in this moment. Breeze, water, sky, pavement. Work, food, work. To think, to contemplate, to fathom the incredible distance. To look down into the Rhine, in a straight line through the earth to where you are now, and how infitesimal you would be if I could see you. Like trying to ascertain the immesurable light years to the stars and galaxies. Only, what is so far is not a ball of hydrogen, but my very soul. To enter into this contemplation is to bring about tortuous sorrow, comfortless lonliness, inexcusable failure.

And so to choose life, to go on, I must choose to remain void, thoughtless.

Today

Today is gone, today is done, tomorrow is another one. From near to far, from here to there, I can't find an apartment anywhere. Today I was scheduled for an appointment, and at the last minute told that it was no longer available. Fortunately I met a Romanian guy at work who used to live in Kaiserwert. It is an area north of the city with houses, close to a hospital and the International School, and directly on a train route to work. Tomorrow I will try again. I will not give up until I have prepared a place for you, my May.

Love,
Arley

I am not here

When I am walking, it is not I who am walking. When I am sleeping, it is not I who am sleeping. I am not here. I am in a distant land, waiting to return to myself. I am here only as a ghost, an empty shell, a machine which produces saltwater Euros. When will I return to myself?

Together

Afternoon laziness
Riverbank pavement stones
Wafting pleasure boats
Dangling rustling leaves

Children in dresses
Waddling todlers
Snuggle-wrapped infants
Breeze-blown mirth

Golden tender arms
Windblown satin hair
Rain-soaked desert eyes
Together again

Else

I don't know what else to do, so I work all day. On the weekends I sleep and walk a long way. I don't want to sit still or at home and think of how much I miss you because it is unbearable. Please pray the we can be together soon. Whether rich or poor, here or there, I cannot be without you.

Work

It is not the work I mind so much. Taking my mind off things, focusing. It is the dreaded walk home, to an empty bed, and no May by my side. With food and clothing we should be content, so said Paul. Such a lesson is hard to learn. Another apartment rejected me because I have children. I am still looking every day.

Love,
Arley

Now and Later

I'm not sure what will happen in the next few months. I did some research and found that Germany denies over half their work visas, especially those for citizens of non-EU countries. But I'm okay with either outcome. Whether in a place here or at home with no job, what is important is that I am with you. I would rather us be together in a little house with simple food than be apart from you and gave all the wealth of this world. Apart from my May I have nothing.

Love,
Arley

Not Much Longer

Not much longer
Soon you´ll see
A few days more
Then we´ll be
One not two
My luvus bee

Buried in work
Nights I fear
Gloomy halls
Coal skies near
Not much longer
Left my dear

Not much more
Count the hours
Sweep the floor
Cut the flowers
Buy some juice
Take a shower

Moments pass
Each one closer
Than the last
Pull me closer
Let´s be rash
Closer, closer

Not much longer

37th Street

37th Street

The sound of boots upon half-frozen grass
Enticed our wayward conversationings,

Reminding us two of the bitter cold.
I don't remember what you said back then:

Your jacket was at home; you didn't say why.
I leant you mine instead; my T-shirt clung

To bare arms. Trying to be tough, the truth
Is I was shivering; I hid it well.

Were you so absentminded then as now?
Or was it all a test? I still don't know.

It wasn't quite as cold as when you threw
That water glass against my chest; I walked

An hour back, no jacket then: I think
My nose was running for a week at least.

No, this time, second-first of wan wan tien,
You warmed me with your gentlest embrace

By multicolored Christmas lights and that
Blue dradel hanging six feet wide and tall.

On thirty-seventh street you never know
If you're awake or sleepwalking through Oz.

When we got back at midnight on the steps
I didn't go inside, but on the spur

While tugging at your sleeve I drew you close:
A kiss, then two, then three; you left me there.

We've always been afire since then although
We often tried and failed to be apart.

Back then were you expecting gathering
About our kitchen, filled with streaming rice,

The pleasing smoke of grilling bulgobi
Aside the sweetness of the honeydew?

Parting

Parting

Chlorine-fresh imbibed
Drink reflecting waves five feet
Waxen leaves red brick
Night green tropicals side street
Burboun courtyard evening heat

Muffled base drums stone
Pavement bench-height seating white
Painted border grey
Statue naked robe pool light
Iron deckchairs torn invite

Seven palms white-pink
Petals thirty feet tall shade
Trees flat beige french doors
Balconies black iron made
Centuries ago slave trade

Hidden archways cool
Day heat broken breeze defined
Lit reflecting pool
Old New Orleans left behind
Yet you've never left my mind

Night

Night

He calls her name in whispers:
No hearing, no holding, imploding;
Night unfurls its cloak.
She is still sleeping,
They are both sleeping:
He lies awake, alone.

He streaches to see her sounds:
Touch her, taste her, embrace her;
Lampposts drip with yellow.
She is still asleep,
They are both asleep:
He lies awake, alone.

He anguishes for her attention:
Her smile, her slenderness, her kiss;
Red-eye flights rumble.
She is still silent,
They are both silent:
He lies awake, alone.

How Long

How long will you stay away? I hope you will come soon. The milk here tastes very good, I think the cows eat green grass without any hormones. It is quite rare to see an obese person, there must be less estrogenic chemicals in the food and packaging. The people are normally not taller but there are more super-tall people. I think Rachel and Isaac would fit in.

Today I´m on a walk alone and thinking about you and how much I miss you. It is not the same without having you here next to me, hugging and kissing you. I want you to come here so we can go on walks together, and go on a train to the mountains, and have a picnic with all our kids and take them to the playground.

Please come soon, because I miss you.

Love,
Arley

Working Place

Here's where I work, in a building by the Rhine, on the 4th floor:



Across from it is a walking path and a park with lots of ducks:



You may not be able to see it, but off in the distance is a park with a playground and swings:



There's also a lake and a path to walk around it:



It will be fun to go there with you and our kids to walk and play.

Love,
Arley

Anguish

My heart cries with longing, and you are not there, my beloved. Empty space lies cold on my bed, unwelcoming, still. There is no day better than one spent with you, and none worse than when we are apart. Even now, my eyes are streaked with tears, for you, my beloved.

My life was barren, till you filled it. My days were colorless, till you burst on me with your smile and kisses. Moments go by, and not one second can I rest, until I rest in your arms again, my beloved, my friend, my May.

For May

It befuddles my mind, words stop, feelings poured forth in torrents. How much I love you May, how I miss you now. How I feel I have been such an unworth husband, a poor father, never giving my full attention. I am sorry. I need to be a new man, like Jesus from the tomb. Maybe, from this time of sorrows, I can see you again with fresh love and a new beginning. You tug at my heart like no one or nothing else, and I search in vain at night for your unequalled gaze of beauty.

This is the first of my daily postings, for the next six months, for however long it may take for you to grasp my inestimable love for you.